So, it looks like the man of my dreams is not going to come knocking on my door. That sucks by the way LOL! And as I’m about to get another year older, I thought, let me get back to these online dating sites and unfortunately I found it is still the same…maybe worse but great comic relief.
With that being said, today I updated my list of do’s and don’ts for online dating. These are things that I have seen, have experienced, made me laugh or made me go hmm. Please feel free to add to the list.
Say you can’t post pics here but will meet me outside. That’s a NO for me Jeffrey Dahmer/Ted Bundy!
Make up a profession. We can tell they are made up.
Say swipe right for more info. Say something man ugh!
Post group pics. We don’t know what you look like.
A random poem in your about me and nothing else. At least explain why you chose the poem and what it means.
Have a pic by your refrigerator wide open and it looks like a liquor store with no food. I’m not against drinking, but come on. If you’re in your 40s or older. That’s not cute.
Have a pic with you and other women. Especially if you all are all hugged up. Could it be a mom or sister? Sure. But how am I supposed to know that?
Be tactful. If you are only on the site for sex…that’s your prerogative, but geez word it better.
Surround yourself with like 12 cats. Animals are great, but that’s weird.
Have the jail as your background…I’m not judging, but find a spot that doesn’t look like a jail.
Have a quote, memes, etc. as your one and only pic. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Bruh…we need to see you.
Have one picture. Variety is the spice of life.
Post all Halloween type pics. A sense of humor is great, but all your pics should not look like your yearly Halloween costumes. Especially if you have on a wig.
Post sweaty gym pics. Working out is great…health is wealth. But the sweaty gym pic and those weird faces you do at the gym. Not cute.
Post selfies if you aren’t good at taking them. Let someone take a pic for you. I know you have one friend.
Post pics of your car. I’m glad you have a car, but I don’t need a pic of it.
Be angry in the about me section. Everybody isn’t going to swipe right on you and its okay. Having a nasty message about me (or anyone) not swiping right before I get a chance to swipe will definitely get you a left swipe.
Don’t call people on the site desperate in your text because guess what you are on here too douche bag.
Post a pic with duck lips. Are men, even supposed to make duck lips?
Post pics of you holding money, throwing money, etc. no one cares.
Take the conversation offline and get super weird in the first text conversation. Examples: sending voice memos singing Club Nouvea’s song “Rumor”, stating “we go together now,” etc. News Flash…that’s a turn off.
Have multiple pictures. Give us options. Example: One with a hat, one without etc.
Write something about yourself. It doesn’t have to be long, but say something.
Post pics of you only. Unless you have kids. But make sure and add that in your summary about yourself.
Pick your best pics. First impressions are everything.
I’m no expert, but I have swiped a while now…mainly left because all the don’ts above come from firsthand experience. I’m still not giving up yet, but man, it’s hard out here. Don’t forget to share with me your online dating do’s and don’ts.
Thanks for reading,